Baby Books
August 29, 2008, 8:50 pm
Filed under:
Baby,
Books About two years ago, I was afraid of baby books. In fact, I avoided all books related to baby stuff. Avoided all aisles involving baby stuff when shopping. I was getting the baby bug. My biological clock was ticking. I thought getting involved in all that would be bad karma since it was too soon for my husband and I to start a family.
Then I decided that parenting books were okay. I work with young children, and parents are often asking me advice on discipline and problem solving. So, I felt that parenting books were safe to read since it was a necessary tool for my job. I love “How to talk so your kids will listen, and how to listen so your kids will talk.” I also like “Positive Discipline.”
Well, it’s a slippery slope from there, and I crashed head on into baby book land. There is so much information out there. It’s hard to imagine having a child without taking a course on it! I hope it’s not bad karma. I was afraid that I would be jinxing myself if I read these books before I was pregnant. As if reading these books would ruin my chances of having a child. I was worried about having all this information and then no child to use it. But, having a child is such an important responsibility, and I really want to do it right… or as right as I can. So, I’ve read the baby books. And. On occasion, I walk down the baby aisle- just to look.
Trying not to think about a baby…
So, I know it’s important not to stress about getting pregnant because that makes it harder to actually “get” pregnant. But, how do you do that? I can’t help but think that I am always pregnant, and I get so sad when I’m not. And we aren’t even trying to conceive yet!!! How nuts is that? Ugh!
I’m trying to eat organic and healthy food. I’m trying to exercise and drop a few extra pounds. I’m trying to stay away from pesticides and chemicals. I’m using natural beauty products, when possible. I am trying to do all that I can to assure the best possible environment for my baby because I can’t control the prescription medications I have to take. It’s frustrating… and scary. I search the web for information and often question my doctors. I think I’m searching for a guarantee that my pregnancy will turn out healthy and happy. I want to find that secret trick to make sure everything will turn out okay.
I work every day with children who have disabilities. It’s rare for me to spend time with a typically developing child. I think that’s why I have so much anxiety about getting pregnant. It seems like you have to just have faith that everything will turn out. So I tell myself, “Don’t worry. Everything will turn out okay. Healthy babies are born every day.” But then, that paranoid side of me can’t help but put her two cents in “but… what if…”
So, I’m trying not to think about it so much.
Thinking about a baby…
I’m ready to make a family. I have a few months until we officially start Trying to Conceive (TTC). So, I’m technically in the thinking seriously stage. Sometimes I feel such a sense of urgency to start TTC, and other times I am so grateful for the time to prepare. Part of me says, “Hey- what’s the rush?” But, the paranoid side of me says, “But, what if this takes a long time? What if I have difficulty conceiving?” What if, What if, What if… ugh!
I have a few medical conditions that require medication. Fantastic! Which is the source of the paranoid side of me. I cannot tell you how stressed I am about the effects of medication on my baby. Some research is scary, but some say the risk is statistically insignificant. I tried to go off, but I wasn’t successful. I was able to drastically reduce the amount, so I feel happy about that. I’ve been taking my prenatal vitamin and folic acid every day for the past six months.
I’m trying to focus on taking care of those things I have control over. I read just about anything baby-related that I can get my hands on. I’m convinced the librarians are looking for my bump. I’ve been to my doctors. I’ve picked a midwife and hospital. I buy organic when possible. I’ve reduced my chemical load. I’ve lost a few pounds, and I walk every day. I could go on and on.
I have a few months to go. Some more time to prepare. I hope everything turns out ok while making a family
