Filed under: Baby, Ovulation, Pregnancy Symptoms, Trying to Conceive | Tags: BBT, BFP, CM, OPK
I couldn’t believe my eyes when I POAS this morning and saw my first BFP. I’m still shaking a little bit. I didn’t take my BBT or really use OPK this month. I just watched my CM. DH was also more relaxed than usual. We took a nice vacation with our dogs. I didn’t feel pregnant at all. My BB had stopped hurting. Last weekend I cried because I didn’t think I was pregnant, and I was so upset that DH didn’t want to do a SA. This weekend I kept feeling a pull in my lower abdomen when I stood up quickly. Which was odd. This morning I woke up and my BB hurt again. I’m about 12 dpo, so I POAS to encourage AF to start. A BFN is usually a good way to get the next cycle started. Instead I found two bright pink lines. I didn’t really expect that! I’m pregnant! I keep checking the stick, and there are still two lines!
DH is out of town, so I haven’t been able to tell him. SHHHH! I want to think of a great way to tell him, but I’m sure I’m just going to blurt it out when he calls to check in.

My acupuncturist gave me a handout about the Chinese New Year later this month. This is the year of the Ox. The handout talked about different things to do to make the most out of the year, and they all boiled down to getting back to the basics. That’s exactly what I plan to do. I’m going “Back to Basics.” I’m going to try to make TTC as basic as possible. I have to admit that not charting my BBT has made it difficult to know for sure if I’ve ovulated yet. I wasn’t sure if that would matter to me since we are BDing every other day, but BD on a schedule is hard when you aren’t sure when you can stop! I broke down and used my last OPK yesterday- it was negative. So I’ve either ovulated, or I’m going to soon. Grrr… I’m fighting the urge to buy more. I’m glad that I will use the fertility monitor next month. I should change it to going “Back to Basics within Reason.” Just can’t give up total control to fate!
I find it interesting to read about the traits of people born in the year of the Ox. Dependable, leaders, smart, trustworthy, caring, organized, etc. They sound like typical first-born children to me, so I’m hoping that’s a sign that this will be my baby year.

I’m not sure why, but I noticed fertile CM earlier this cycle. Since I’m spending so much money on acupuncture, I’m going to attribute the change to the needles. It could be the phase of the moon, or that I’m slowly getting regulated after 5 years with an IUD. I may never know why for sure, but I think I’m going to ovulate earlier this month. I’m not taking my BBT or using the OPK. I was just using CM observations this month. I usually don’t notice fertile CM until CD12 or so, but this cycle I noticed it on CD9. The exciting part is that we had planned a vacation for some BD last week. I had thought I would ovulate then when we planned the trip, but as my cycles went on my ovulation date and LP changed, which threw off when I thought I would ovulate in January. Grrr… I didn’t anticipate ovulating until the week after our trip. But, I started to get fertile CM right before and throughout our trip. Hurray! Needless to say, I was excited. This wasn’t the high point of the trip for DH, but it certainly was for me. I’m hoping that this is our month- as I hope it is every month. I feel relaxed, and not charting so much has made me feel less stressed. We’ve been able to BD every morning since I notice fertile CM. I got my fertility spell completed, so I hope that will help the cause! I got my fertility monitor all set up and ready to go, so I have something to look forward to next cycle if it doesn’t work out for us. Now I just have to wait… FX and Baby Dust that this is our month!!!!
I decided that I am not going to do anything this month. No BBT. No OPK. I am going to chart my CM. It’s hard not to notice that when you use the bathroom. I’m just going to relax and enjoy January. DH’s schedule is great this month. We’ll be able to BD every other night for the next week or two, so I don’t need to know exactly when I ovulate this month. Hopefully, we’ll have our BFP, but if not, I got a Fertility Monitor. It’s an interesting little device. We’ll see how it works. I got it used off ebay for $60. It’s typically over $100, so I’m glad that I got a deal. I’m bidding on the test sticks you need to use with it. You have to start using it by CD 5, but I didn’t get it until after that because of Christmas. I’ll start using it next cycle, which will be something to look forward to if I get another BFN!
I’m hoping I will like the fertility monitor better than the OPK. I think it won’t make me feel as crazy! With the OPK, it was stressful to constantly get negatives. It was also hard to hold my urine and try to pee at the same time every day. You use FMU with the monitor. I’ve read that the monitor gives low, high, and peak results. My CM is pretty accurate, so it’ll be a good cross reference.
I had a leftover generic OPK from last cycle. I wanted to use it first, and then bust out the fancy brand name OPK. I started testing on Friday, and I decided to use FMU because a few ladies on FF posted that their RE recommended it for OPK. I usually test at 4 pm after peeing and limiting liquids after 2 pm. I was assuming it would be negative because I always thought you weren’t suppose to use FMU. Wouldn’t you know that I got a positive result. I thought it would be positive at 4 pm because I felt some cramping. I was excited because I felt it on the left side, and I haven’t felt anything on that side since my IUD was removed. It was negative at 4 pm that day, and I haven’t had a positive since. Hmm… I had fertile CM on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Monday. I only started testing on Friday, but my temp hasn’t dropped- just gone up. It’s not as high as it usually is after I ovulate. So maybe I ovulated, or maybe I’m about to ovulate… I feel some cramping now. I wish things were more clear-cut.
It wouldn’t normally matter, but we were only able to BD on Saturday because of DH’s schedule. If the positive OPK on Friday was accurate, then we at least had one BD attempt during ovulation. If not, then we missed our opportunity this month. Grrr…. DH is super busy this week and wanted to not actively TTC this month. As if that is possible now! It’s like we opened Pandora’s box. There is no going back! I understand his side, but I was totally crushed. This is Cycle 4, and I feel we are going to be at Cycle 6 before I know it. Ugh! But, I tried my best to limit baby talk. I only slipped up around Thanksgiving because of my Dr. appointment. Oops… I don’t think I’ve mentioned it to him in almost two weeks, but I’m pretty sure he was aware of why I was seducing him on Saturday.
I’ve also decided to not have further testing done until my yearly gyno visit in February. I’m going to not temp or do OPK in January. I can tell when I’m fertile by my CM. I’m hoping that will make me feel more relaxed. I’m going to go to a different practice and see how they approach my concerns. I don’t feel comfortable with how my current practice handled my concerns.
But, I’m still wondering if that positive OPK on Friday was accurate…
I got this new yoga DVD, and I have to admit that I am very happy with my purchase- Bend, Breathe, and Conceive. It’s always a risk when getting an exercise DVD. Some are great, and some are just terrible. I wasn’t sure if I should buy it, but I decided to splurge when AF arrived. I’ve done the routine twice, and I really like it. It has a few of the typical yoga poses and a relaxation segment at the end. I definitely feel relaxed afterwards. I’m hoping this will help me be more relaxed about TTC. I get headaches from time to time, and I always forget how yoga helps ease the pain. It’s been more effective than OTC medication!
We aren’t really TTC this month because of DH’s schedule. I hate having a month go by without trying, but it might be good for me to get centered again. Today is CD12, and I was excited today because I had EWCM. I don’t usually see it so early, so I’m wondering if I will ovulate earlier this month… I’ll start taking my BBT tomorrow. It’ll be interesting to see what this cycle is like.
I went to my appointment with an OB to explain my test results. It was kind of a weird appointment. I’ve never met this doctor, so I don’t have any established relationship with him. I typically see a midwife with the practice, but she didn’t want to see me since she doesn’t know much about infertility. Grrr…. So, I wasn’t sure what to expect. The doctor was very nice. He basically said that the midwife might have jumped the gun a bit. He isn’t really concerned about me at this point. He didn’t want to start me on medication until we got a SA for DH. DH isn’t ready for that at this point. The doctor didn’t say anything about doing an ultrasound. He wants to redo the progesterone test and look at a variety of other hormones and go from there. It was so different from what the nurse said. It makes me wonder how qualified the nurse is to be the fertility nurse for the practice. He said that I can take my BBT if I want, but I should not feel like I have to. It made me feel a little less stressed about TTC. I’ve only been TTC for three months, so I was so upset with the nurse’s reaction to my test results. The doctor made me feel like I was functioning appropriately in terms of TTC. I think I will do acupuncture for one more cycle, and then see what 2009 has in store for my DH and me.
I’ve been giving myself a break from taking my BBT for the last 11 days. It’s been nice to not have to think about anything the moment my alarm goes off. Tomorrow is CD12, so I’ll start my chart to see when I ovulate. My CM is starting to change, so I think my body will be getting ready to ovulate sometime this week. I’ll start using the OPK as well. The nurse at my dr.’s office wants me to call when I get a positive, so that I can schedule a time to come in at 7 dpo to check my hormones. It’ll be nice to get some information. I’m not looking to take any medication just yet, but I’d like to make sure everything is working right. I just wish my AF would stop coming early!!! I went back to acupuncture to get my system in order. She gave me some funny herbs to take. I’m not sure if I will… TTC hits a funny nerve. I normally hate taking medication and will do anything to avoid it. But, I find myself actually considering taking this herb on the off chance that it is the magic pill to help me conceive a healthy baby. Crazy!
For the sake of my sanity, I have decided to think of this as my “TTC Year.”
I wanted this miracle of life to happen instantly. I wanted to be one of the lucky couples with a happy “accident.” I hoped to avoid the stress of wondering if I could get pregnant. It doesn’t work that way. I need to take a breath and re-evaluate my plan. If the common advice is to “not try so hard,” I definitely blew it last cycle. I couldn’t have tried harder if I wanted to! I want to take a step back and look at this in terms of 12 months instead of right now. If I happen to get pregnant along the way- Great!
I have decided to make myself some rules to help me focus on what’s important.
#1 I will no longer spend hours on the internet reading different chat threads. I always end up stressed out because of something I read, which is silly, because they aren’t doctors. I will stick to reading about fertility from books and reputable, medically-oriented websites. No Chat Room Lurking!
#2 I will continue to blog about my attempts at TTC. It helps me gain perspective… and I just love seeing the tally go up each day. I love the comments, too! Thanks for reading!!!
#3 I will chart my BBT, and I will use the OPK. It’ll be good information to have. I’ll be able to really pick out trends with a year’s worth of charts. The OPK is expensive ($35 for 20 sticks), but I feel the added comfort that I am doing everything possible to increase my chances of conceiving is worth the money.
#4 I will remind myself often that there is no reason why I would not be able to have children. I will not worry about a fertility problem until my yearly visit to the gynecologist in February. By then I will have 6 months of data collected. I have to give nature time to take its course. I can’t control everything.
#5 I will not overly worry about BD positioning, the few beers my DH drinks a week, or any other random fertility advice. Since, on the flip side, these are not realistic forms of birth control. If they were, I would have saved a bundle over the past 10 years.
#6 I will be nice to myself when I get a BFN or my AF. I will reward myself with something that I stayed away from like feta cheese or peanut butter. I will paint my nails or get a massage.
#7 I will have fun with my DH and enjoy the journey of TTC.
I woke up this morning, and my temp was down. Way down. I knew without getting up that AF was here- not implantation bleeding. Ugh! AF is 5 days early. I was only 10 dpo. This isn’t how I imagined this week starting out. I can’t believe my LP is so short. It will be interesting to see if that happens this cycle or if that was a strange fluke.
I am sad, but not as sad as I was anticipating. I think it was better to get my AF before I took a HPT and got a BFN. I understood intellectually that it doesn’t happen right away. This was our first time trying. I know that healthy couples have only a 40% chance of getting pregnant in the first three months. Emotionally, I was deeply invested in this pregnancy already! My DH says it’s set up that way so that you get emotionally invested in the baby way before he is born. Which made me feel better… now, but I might not agree a year from now. So, I’m not pregnant. I really thought I was. I feel a little silly for obsessing over all my imaginary pregnancy symptoms, but they felt so real!
I am going chart my BBT and use the OPK again. I am also interested in reading “Taking Charge of Your Fertility.” And, so starts day 1 of cycle #2.
