AF arrived this morning. Well, this was my longest cycle since I had my IUD removed. Bodies are so mysterious in the way that they function. My LP was 12, which was good, but it is possible that I ovulated later than I thought… so my LP could still be 10. I’m not going to think about it tonight. I’m going to try to be nice to myself. I’m going to paint my nails, buy the clothes I’ve been saving in my shopping cart, and read a good book. Today was the first snow storm of the season. I think that I will play some Christmas music. I feel like it might be good for me to take December off TTC. I’ve been so stressed for the passed three months! It’s no wonder that I didn’t get pregnant yet!
I can hardly believe that I am at 12 dpo with no AF in sight! Two BFN are not allowing me to think I’m pregnant. I’m thinking that I ovulated later than FF is showing. I could have ovulated two days later, so I’m going to assume that AF will find me tonight or tomorrow…
I can’t help but think it would be amusing to be pregnant after the nurse told me I didn’t ovulate. I’m a little ticked at this nurse at the moment. When I first called to question my short LP, I asked her if this could be because of the IUD. She said no since I’ve had 4 cycles since it was removed. Ok. I asked her the same question yesterday, and she said yes. What? I’m irritated that she left my results and possible treatment options on an answering machine message and then I couldn’t get in touch with anyone to talk about it. The nurse’s message said talk to the midwife, the midwife’s message said talk to a doctor, and the next appointment isn’t until next week! She kept using the word “infertility” which really bothered me. I’ve only been TTC for 3 cycles- couldn’t we use a different word?
In summary, I’m waiting for AF. I’m trying not to think I’m pregnant because I’ll feel really stupid when AF does show. I think I ovulated later, so that would explain why my progesterone was so low. I’m switching OB’s.
I was secretly hoping this was my month. I still don’t have AF, but my progesterone results are a terrible 5.9. The nurse left this information on my answering machine. She said she didn’t even think that I ovulated. I cried. What a terrible message to get. I’ve been trying to get someone on the phone all day long to answer all my questions with no success. My midwife left a message to make an appointment with a doctor at the practice. So I set that up for next week. At least it’s only next week! I should have AF by then…
I don’t know about this not ovulating business. I know my progesterone is low because I’ve been getting AF early (8-10dpo), but I’m pretty sure I ovulate. I have fertile CM, positive OPK, a sustain temperature shift, sore BB, and mild cramping. I guess all this can happen without ovulating, but then I seriously doubt the benefits of taking your temperature each morning. The nurse said something on the answering machine about doing an ultrasound of my ovaries to see if I’m ovulating. I guess that will give us an answer. I’m hoping my appointment next week is informative and my doctor is supportive.
I know low progesterone is fixable, but I still feel so sad about the whole thing. I was worried there might be a problem, and now there’s a problem. I hope this isn’t a case of self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just want AF to get here so I can stop hoping for a BFP and move on to the next cycle.
Ugh!
something to happen! I’m at 9 dpo. I was so happy to make it through the weekend without AF. I’ve made it past 8 dpo, which is how far I got last cycle. Tomorrow is 10 dpo, and that’s how long my LP was for my first cycle. That’s the low end of the normal range for the LP (10-16 dpo). I’m trying to keep busy so that I don’t get to obsessed with what is going to happen. I have so many questions and no answers at the moment- Will I have a normal LP? Will I get my BFP!?! Will my progesterone results be normal? Will I need supplements? Will I M/C? I’m waiting- ho hum.
I had my blood drawn on Friday (6dpo) to test my progesterone. They said I’d have my results today- no such luck! I called this morning, and they weren’t back yet. I called at 3:50 pm, and they were closed already! Luck was not on my side today- more waiting! Hopefully, I will get the results tomorrow. I am interested in my levels. I did so well not worrying about it over the weekend. I hope they are normal…
I feel AF is on her way. I keep checking… and… waiting.
I had spotting last night. I wanted to hope it was implantation bleeding, but this time I knew better. AF was early again. I was only 8 dpo. Ugh!!! Why is my LP so short! I was concerned when it was 10 dpo, but now it’s 8 dpo. I thought this was the part of the cycle that wasn’t suppose to change! So, I am sad. I am going to try to talk to a nurse tomorrow. I’m hoping they take me seriously, but I know that they might blow me off because it’s only my second month TTC and my age. Hopefully this next cycle will be better. I think I’m going to stop the Vit B6 to see if I notice a difference. TTC is emotionally exhausting!
I have found myself at 1 dpo again. So the TWW begins! My DH and I went to dinner and a movie to celebrate us. It’s nice to know that I ovulate on a monthly basis so far. It will be interesting to see if I was able to extend my LP with the vitamin B6. I think I learned a lot last cycle, so I was able to make some changes this time. BDing every other day was more fun and less stressful than every day! We’ll see if that give me a BFP!
I have a few non-baby books to read to get me through the week of imaginary symptoms. My first symptom is that I’m starting to get a cold, which I find to be funny since a stuffy nose and sore throat often happen at the beginning of a pregnancy. I work with young children, so getting a cold is typical (but secretly I hope that means I conceived- I know I’m nuts). My BB are sort of sore, but it may be because I keep checking to see if they are sore. I’m sure by the end of the week I’ll have a whole list of symptoms that I concocted to convince myself that this is THE month!
I have a variety of fears. I am a self diagnosed hypochondriac. My BF would totally agree with that dx. Some of my fears are totally rational and some are very irrational.
I know that it’s extremely common to not get pregnant right away. In fact, it would be considered odd statistically. It’s doesn’t help my fears or the little bit of sadness that I feel… even though I thought I mentally prepared myself for not getting pregnant. But, for those few hours that I thought I was experiencing implantation bleeding, I had moved into the next stage of fears- giving birth. Now, I find myself back to my old set of “will I get pregnant” fears, and I’m sprucing them up a bit as I get ready to try this again. Here’s my list of things I am afraid of:
- I’m afraid that I will not get pregnant
- I’m afraid it’ll be my fault
- I’m afraid I will be an emotional wreck by the end of the year TTC
- I’m afraid that I have a short LP since this LP was only 10 days long. An LP defect?
- I’m afraid that the IUD messed up my progesterone (I used the Mirena IUD for 5 years)
- I’m afraid that my DH has a low sperm count. We’re going to BD every other day this month- 12 days straight of BDing was exhausting!
- I’m afraid of losing my DH support if I get too emotionally involved and then get upset each and every month. He’s very supportive, but he gets worked up when he sees me upset.
- I’m afraid of the effects of the medication I have to take. I am on an anti-depressant (1/2 my reg. dose) and an anti-seizure med. In a nutshell- I had a random seizure at the age of 23 for no concrete reason, and I have been on a sub-therapeutic dose of an anti-seizure med to control auras. So, I don’t trust my body… hmmm…
- I’m afraid that I don’t trust my body to do what it is suppose to do.
AH HA!
After reading my list, it looks as though I have to work on trusting my body to do what it is suppose to do. It’s hard to have faith. But, in a few weeks, it’ll be ovulation time again, and I want to be as optimistic about the results as I was this cycle. I bought my OPK, and I’m ready for AF to go away! Now, I just have to spend some time on myself so that I can learn to trust my body.
Filed under: Baby Worries, Pregnancy Symptoms, Trying to Conceive | Tags: LP, POAS
Today is 10 dpo. I was proud of myself for not POAS when I got up this morning. I’ve been telling my DH that I am pregnant until proven otherwise! It helps me not test too early. I had a great day hanging out with my DH. After lunch, I went to the bathroom, and I had light red bleeding. I was stunned. I didn’t expect that. My period is not due until the end of the week. A few hours later it was brown with cramps like AF is here. Could it be implantation bleeding? Am I pregnant? Is this really going to happen? Could my LP be only 10 days long? Could this be an early miscarriage? Is my charting completely off? I’m not sure what to think, so I’m just trying not to. Ugh!
